When I Was No Longer There

First published in The Tasman Journey, ©W.F. Stubbs, 2019

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When I was no longer there
My head had disappeared,
A gull flew over oblivious
To soulless stares,

     and weeping clouds
     sheltering hills’ horizons.

Sun brightened a face
Faded and Laced
With transparent layers.
Pixel dreams of existing
In a space
That only nature claims.

Feet disintegrated in sand
Recoil of growth,
I hoped,
Would free the emptiness
That gulps
And swallows everything whole.

But I was no longer there,
My head had disappeared.
Squeaks and squawks called
To missing bones,
     all I left behind
     in the wake of quantum states.

Sensations tended tides
Like an inlet
Flowing back to sea,
Collapsing wave functions
And splintering worlds
With endless regressions.

But I am no longer heard,
My shadow is deferred.
Passers-by walk on and gaze
With unquestioning words,
     and lingering light
     pestering the helpless sky.

Rubbish is age
An arm’s length away,
Scavenger of days.
Fellow friends of night
So polite,
Ignorance is spite.

The waist is buried
Forgotten and half empty.
Stones where memories lay
And ribbons cursing salty winds.
Thoughts,
     they were not swayed.

But he is no longer here,
A rest that has appeared.
Cursory notes left to divine
Flutter through this window of time
Where on a glistening beach
Birds spread their wings and fly