King By A Quest

• Previously the 'Friendly Heavy Metal Song'

(Based on George’s story from 
Rite Of Passage by Alexei Panshin)
 
Once upon a time there was a king,
He had two sons and they were twins.
They grew up tall and strong,
Just like two warts on a toad.
The father died so who should inherit?
The kingdom small and the brothers disparate.
It was decided by the kingdoms realm,
A king by a quest would be found.

The right to rule,
Enegan or Britoval?
The right to crown,
A king by a quest would be found.

Off they set,
By the morning light,
Through the roads,
Ned had no load.

In a small cavern lived
An ogre with a treasure big.
Now you know what they had to do
Ned was in the lead so soon.
Sam fell back and came across a man,
The skinniest man robbed of all his food.
“Tell me where the ogre lives,
And you’ll have meat on your bones again.”

Down the road a castle, 
In the castle a princess,
A princess with no charm,
Stolen by a man who would come to harm.

Off he set,
By the morning light,
Through the roads,
Follow your nose

An ogre you will find,
His cave an empty house,
No more riddles to pass his time.

Sam asked the ogre if he liked his quarters,
“A little cramped and friends would be better.”
“Well I’ve got the thing just for you,
When I’m king you’ll even have good fortune.”
But they got back to a party started
A crowning for the son who had departed,
He’d returned with treasure and charm,
He even had a girl on his arm.

In walked Sam,
The Ogre too,
No escape,
If you tempt your fate.
Crown him king,
With a princess bride too,
This kingdom he will rule,
With a moral too.